Feather weight

Feathers add up, something that feels so small and light can really become “back breaking”.

Pack smart

Think about your capacity

Always dream big

Feather weight part 2:

A poem/confession written on 12.24.22

I want to release this feather weight

It weighs so little yet pins me down

I’m not honest about how often I think about killing myself for the sake of this home, for earth, for everyone else sake.

I feel the pain she’s in, this wonderful being/place/sacred ground we walk on, and I so gratefully get to live on and share with all of you beautiful humans.

There is nothing that would make me kill myself because I feel awake and aware of the power and energy in me to help do the most good for her and everyone here. If I die it’s either someone killed me or I made an attempt at something harder than I should have done.

I’ll fucking suffer, I’ll go through hell and back, I’ll die before I let anything stop me from loving this earth and everything and everyone on it.

I’m sorry I have been hiding this from everyone and lying about being happy and well.

I am not.

Im trying and learning and failing and getting up and failing and learning and getting some wins and learning and failing and trying again and loving some and telling my truth a little more and more and loving myself more more and more. Im loving others better little by little by loving me.

Im trying to be sober. I smoked a blunt tonight. Also had 1 beer.

I’m an extreme person cause I’ve gone through extreme shit and serious mental and physical trauma.

I’m sorry if I’ve lashed out or have gotten defensive and pushed you away. I’m sorry as well for letting me do that to parts of myself.

The truth:

I don’t know who I am most of the time, so much of that has been taken away from me. From life from myself and from others. By no one’s fault. Everything happens for a reason. I’m sitting here cold and shaking alone right now.

Happy and proud of myself

I’m digging deep and I’m giving it back to myself.

I’m giving myself freedom to remove the feather weight

Breathe that new breath

Thank you god/universe/spirit/earth

Love yourself

I love me

My life matters

Your life matters

Thank you

I will stay for you Clayton Michael Koob

Thanks for removing the weight