What Ive learned and Where I’m at

I have learned that I have a story and that I can help others by sharing it.

Ive been through physical, mental and spiritual trauma. Others have too.

I want to move through all of my trauma and I want to heal and become the best and healthiest version of myself. I also want to help others.

Just like oxygen on a plane I have to help myself first. Ive learned that through helping myself, and during the process I actually helped others and motivated others.

One Physical trauma I have been through is a motorcycle crash first day of summer after freshman year of college. I hit a deer around 45 mph, totaling the Kawasaki Ninja 650r I rode. I tore my labrum(shoulder), had a bunch of sprains along my right side of my body, and road rash which I had to scrub out of my body after hours in the hospital.

One Mental trauma I have been through is loosing the photographic memory I had at a young age due to repeated concussions(some of which I lost consciousness), and having memory issues lasting up to this very moment. Self conscious and inferiority complexes created and controlled many aspects of how I showed up in the world, which created even more. Sexual assault, having phone sex with the male predator that assaulted me originally, isolating myself for years, staying quite, sidelining myself. Having to re learn the most basic of things, convincing myself I was “disabled”/r-word. Etc. Sorry I rambled(more than one trauma shared) this category has been the hardest for me.

One Spiritual trauma I have been through is Ego death from psychedelics and having to re learn to function in this world. Having to acknowledge there is a higher power after giving up on God when my parents got divorced.

My healing journey began 7 years ago. I have suffered and almost quit many times. I had amazing and beautiful souls help me out and touched me in a way that shifted my perception slowly but surely over the years.

I prayed to God/Universe/Great Spirit/Energy/Soul/Toa/Love/Life/ and other interchangeable names to guide me and help me, and vowed to devote my life to the greatest good and give back the most if I could just make it out of the darkest holes I was stuck in.

I’m here now sharing my story to help who wants help. To give to the world what has helped me: people being themselves, getting vulnerable and giving the world their very best.

I am here to LOVE

I am here right now putting on my mask first.

I am here telling you to put your mask on first too.

This team needs you, I need you, I want you, I love you.

My life matters

Your life matters

I love you

I love me

LOVE

You can do this, you can make it, you can improve, you can learn, you can heal, you are worthy of love, you are enough, you are perfectly imperfect, you are wanted here, you deserve to be here, you are allowed to have feelings and are allowed to express them.

Thank you to every single soul/person for being apart of this beautiful experience we call life.

I have learned a lot and I’m going to continue to learn till I die. I promise to share my truth and to use everything that comes my way for good. To be as selfless as possible. To live as minimally as possible and give back as much as possible.

I’m traveling back to the coast from Missouri after holidays with my parents. Hence the oxygen analogy or metaphor.

Thanks for reading this <3

Thank you for writing this Clayton Michael Koob<3 :)