Some current feelings

I feel so drawn towards Utopian worlds of love, peace, cuddling, and fantasy.

I feel like I have the power to make the world that way. I also feel powerless.

I feel like an addict for suffering in almost every way though which is counter productive to the fantasies I want to play out.

I feel like a useless child as well as a wise monk.

I feel happy at times

I feel sad at times

I feel like I have trauma to process. I feel like I owe me an explanation.

I feel like I owe the world and people in my life an explanation.

I feel ashamed for failing myself and people in my life over and over again.

I feel guilty for for some of the things Ive done, said, and chosen.

I feel unsettled mentally most of the time lately.

I feel worn out by my actions.

I feel a little frightened, scared, and worried about what life holds for me.

I feel optimistic for life because I have chosen to show up and talk/type my feelings here right now. I know I’m doing the worth while work to love myself and connect with the world and people in some way. Just trying is worth while. Even if I fail it’s worth it. Even if I don’t know why and try its worth it.

I feel like connecting with my why could be nice right now.

Why am I expressing my feelings? - To show myself that i can label a feeling and communicate it. Because I want to be able to do this with loved ones, family, friends, and myself. I want to acknowledge the internal and external world I live in and with.

Why do I want to improve my situation? - Because everything can be improved by adding presence and consciousness. Ive lived so much of my life in my own mind. Or unconsciously. I want to be conscious of my decisions, my actions, and how i show up in the world.

I feel restored after sitting down to take this time for me.

I feel thankful for those around me.

I feel grateful for my decision to continually show for myself and others.

I feel curious about what the future holds for me and satisfied with not knowing and just being here now and trying.

Thank you

Much love

I love you

I love me

My life matters

Your life matters

Let me know how you feel. I’m trying to do the same for you.